Friday, January 10, 2014

The same kind of crazy

The entire time I was growing up, my mother told me I was just like my daddy's family. 

Not in the nice way.

I never really knew if that was true because I wasn't allowed to have anything to do with them. As you may have guessed by the "not in the nice way" comment, my mother didn't like them much. Or at all. It's actually only been in the last five or six years I've really gotten to know my aunt, who has quickly become my favorite aunt in the world because, as it turns out, I am like her and she may be one of the only females in my family who has ever gotten me and hasn't tried to make me feel bad about who I am. 

She has been a life saver for me through this ordeal with my mother.

The real, ugly, truth about most of my mother's medical issues is that they could have been avoided had she done anything the doctor told her to do for years. Heck, if she'd done anything I stayed on her to do, like manage her diabetes and exercise. Because I am the only family member close by, I watched her do this. To herself. For longer than I care to think about. Yes, genetics does have a role in some of it, as heart disease runs in her family, but it wouldn't have been this dire had she just taken care of herself. 

People have been very sweet checking to see how I'm handling things. I've been very honest and told them I'm perfectly fine because none of this is a surprise and my mother did this to herself. Aside from my super awesome girlfriends who totally get where I'm coming from, the response I get most when I say this is, "Well, yeah, but you must be scared." 

I'm not. 

Nor am I worried. 

I am stressed only because my daddy is simultaneously facing a health scare.

Apparently, it is not okay for me not to be having a come apart.

Nor to hold people accountable for their actions.

I was sharing this assumption I should be throwing myself over my mother's bed weeping and wringing my hands with my aunt the other day. She was like, "Why would you? She did this to herself, so it's not exactly a surprise."

I was like, "Thank you. I've been saying the same thing and people (not just family) are acting like I'm a robot or something. It's nice to talk to a sane, or at least less crazy, person."

And she was like, "We're not sane, we're just the same kind of crazy." 

What do you know? My mom and aunt agree on something-I am just like my daddy's family. 

Except my aunt means it in the nice way. 


Allenspark Lodge said...

I am sorry for your folk's health problems.

I am DELIGHTED you are taking a proactive path with your own health.

Run on.


Anonymous said...

Loved your blog!! I have told both my Mom and Dad the same thing, "You've done it to yourself", in which they do not like hearing, and have had to set back and watch, because they will not change. Makes me sad. Glad to hear I'm not by-myself. Thanks

Jodi said...

I totally get it. My FIL knew he had serious heart condition and chose not to watch his diet, exercise, or even take meds. It was a conscious decision.

And ultimately it led to his (earlier than it should have been) death.

Were we sad to see him go? Yeah. But in a way there's a comfort in knowing he made the choice himself.

Sorry for the stress you're going thru right now, especially with your father's issues.

Hang in there.