Just a few minutes ago, as I was piling slice after slice of French Toast on NJ's plate because he is still gimpy from knee surgery and I'm trying to convince him that letting me stay home until school starts back next year is the grooviest idea ever, we began discussing filing our taxes. The following is a re-enactment of that conversation:
Me: Mine are almost done. All I need is some community property thing.
NJ: It's in the mail in there (and he pointed in the general direction of outside, the man cave and the laundry room which is way helpful).
(Pause five seconds while he butters his French Toast.)
NJ: I guess that old lady died.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm going to need you to be more specific. What old lady?
NJ: The one who does my taxes.
Me: Why do you think she's dead?
NJ: She hasn't called me to remind me to come in and get them done this year.
Me: Maybe she just changed jobs.
NJ: No, she was old and shook. That's why she had bad handwriting.
Me: Awww, yes, old and shaking is a pre-cursor to death. Or retirement.
NJ: It really sucks she died because I was going to get a discount this year.
I just shook my head as he took his French Toast and sadly trudged towards the man cave where he has been convalescing since his knee surgery.
I'm not even arguing it with him anymore, even though we don't have a body or obituary to confirm her death and that she didn't just get sick of doing taxes and moved on (not to Heaven) or retired (also not to Heaven).
Me: Mine are almost done. All I need is some community property thing.
NJ: It's in the mail in there (and he pointed in the general direction of outside, the man cave and the laundry room which is way helpful).
(Pause five seconds while he butters his French Toast.)
NJ: I guess that old lady died.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm going to need you to be more specific. What old lady?
NJ: The one who does my taxes.
Me: Why do you think she's dead?
NJ: She hasn't called me to remind me to come in and get them done this year.
Me: Maybe she just changed jobs.
NJ: No, she was old and shook. That's why she had bad handwriting.
Me: Awww, yes, old and shaking is a pre-cursor to death. Or retirement.
NJ: It really sucks she died because I was going to get a discount this year.
I just shook my head as he took his French Toast and sadly trudged towards the man cave where he has been convalescing since his knee surgery.
I'm not even arguing it with him anymore, even though we don't have a body or obituary to confirm her death and that she didn't just get sick of doing taxes and moved on (not to Heaven) or retired (also not to Heaven).
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| This is Clemens Vonnegut Sr. He was a tax collector. We have actual proof he is dead. Not so much with the shaky elderly lady at H&R Block. Pic attribution. |
3 comments:
I suppose she could be avoiding him so she doesn't have to give him his discount...
Bill
LOL! You make it sound like NJ gets his taxes done by some random old lady. I've got images of a 90 year old looking up at him completely confused as he hands her all his receipts.
NJ is a genius. I'm going to start assuming that everyone who doesn't call me anymore is dead.
The only down side is that it means Houston has a shocking mortality rate.
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