Thursday, January 31, 2013

Communication is complete when the recipient understands the message.

I've been teaching my students about the importance of clear communication and including details in their writing in order to make sure their reader understands what they're trying to say. Actually, I told them to assume everyone who reads what they write is a moron. A couple of my co-teachers seem disturbed when I say, "What is your reader?" and the class replies in unison, "A moron," but their writing is getting better, so whatever. 

Too bad no one at my own home received that particular memo. 

Yesterday, as I was driving Grace home from her eye doctor appointment, where she had to get her baby blues dilated, NJ texted me and asked if my phone was on.

Does a bear shit in the woods? 


Since I was driving, I requested my partially blind child who was wearing some killer plastic wrap sunglasses given to her by the eye doctor to please text NJ and tell him yes, my phone was in fact on, but I couldn't respond to his text because I was busy trying not to wreck. 

Moments later, I received the following text from him:

"What are you talking about killing myself? I was just asking if your phone was on and what time you'd be home."

So I was like, "Stevie Wonder, what did you text NJ that would make him think I was worried about him killing himself."

She was like, "He's crazy. I said you were trying not to wreck. I didn't even type kill or dead." 

Then she texted him that exact message, which led him to forward me the following message I sent him:

"I only got the second part of your text about you killing yourself and me being rich. Now I'm confused and worried. And maybe thinking about cute purses." 

I sent that message almost a month ago in response to a text he sent me of which I only received a portion. 

Approximately 30 days ago. 

Four weeks ago. 

That's all the math I'm doing.

But somehow it just hung out in space all that time and showed up randomly yesterday. 

And caused me to have to explain what him being dead and me having cute purses had to do with one another. 

Stupid technology.

For your viewing pleasure, here's a video that may not seem like it relates to the post but it totally does. The post mentions Grace, and it's a video of her. It also mentions Stevie Wonder, who sings, as Grace is doing in the video and the song she's singing is about a mama who tells her to hide her crazy and start acting like a lady, which, hell-o, could've totally been written about me. I can seriously twist anything to make it work to my benefit.


Leiah said...

Maybe that's why I haven't gotten a response from you regarding the Little Debbie binge - it's still floating out there in a text black hole.

PS: Only 1 more week!

Candance said...

Little Debbie binge? I got nothing!!

Why are all my pictures and videos huge? This did not used to be a problem!!

ONE. MORE. WEEK!!! I am so stoked!!

Laney G said...

Your baby so needs to go to be on the American Idol show. I'm no expert but she's good. :D I know you're proud of her.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

ONE.MORE.WEEK.... hmmm- I'll consider that as a warning.
Your daughter sings a mean Miranda and I might know a thing or two about hidin' my crazy!

janneba said...

I thought that was great she sings real fine.

Candance said...

She's trying out for The Voice next wknd. Cross your fingers and thanks for the huge compliment!

Candance said...

Thanks! And you should only start boarding up the windows and buying canned foods if you're in Houston...

Candance said...


Weekend Cowgirl said...

You have a really cool kid! None of ours would do this... she has a nice voice and hope she likes singing...

Kellie said...

WOW! Yes, your kid can SING!!

Amy Garnett said...

I love your blogs so much. I wish you blogged every day!