Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I'm Full of the Christmas Spirit. Okay, I'm Full of Something. Whatever.

I had this great blog post all ready to go about how, as I've mentioned a few thousand times, I'm not a huge fan of the holiday season. I was going to expound on that hatred, citing how people get their panties all in a wad over the commercialism of the holiday, yet it's generally the angry shopper in the "Jesus in the reason for the season" sweatshirt who is flipping me the bird because I'm not backing out of my prime parking spot fast enough to suit her. It was a good post and was intended to tell us all to stop getting all judgy and uptight this holiday season and instead have a little fun with it, especially if that fun and can make others slightly uncomfortable.

Then I proceeded to puke and sleep for almost 24 hours straight. But I lost two pounds. 

Anyway, so now you get the condensed version. 

I made some stuff. It's not conventional, but it's full of Christmas fun. It's holiday cheer for the snarky and non-self righteous. Basically, for people who read this blog.

My first offering:


The Happy Holiboobzie. Notice her snowflakes
nipples aren't alike. That's because no two snowflakes
are the same and I'm dedicated to scientific accuracy
in my projects. She will also be available
in Kwanza and Hanukkah colors,
due to being a firm believer in diversity
and commitment to offending as many religions
as possible. 
She's on my Etsy page. 

NJ thinks I need to do the ultimate Boobzie gift pack containing the original boobzie, Red White and Bloobzie, Cammo Boobzie, Luck of the Irish Boobzie, Happy Halloboobzie and the new girl. You know, for the collector. I don't know about all that just yet.

My second offering:



All I Want for Christmas is a Sugar Daddy Card
All I Want for Christmas is a Sugar Daddy Card by sweetteagreetings
Shop for a greeting card on zazzle.com

I just realized I spelled my own name wrong on this. I'm not changing it. There is another Christmas card on there and I plan to add more now that I can walk without hurling. 

Now, I'm going to slip into a medically induced coma before disinfecting my home and making vats of banana pudding for our holiday gathering. 

The holiday gathering already containing signs of being from hell.

Awesome.

2 comments:

r said...

You are preaching to the choir Sugar. The holidays make me want to find a baby and punch it in the face. You will hear me singing "Peace on earth, and good will to all". I say Goodwill because that is where I buy all my presents.

However, you were so cute as a baby girl, I could never have punched you. But you definitely would have gotten my mean face. So go ahead smile, don't be a Scrooge and have a great time with all those lovely relatives.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I love that I can count on you to bring me into the holiday spirit just right! Makes dealing with the inevitable drunks and family dumb-asses all feel all warm and fuzzy- kind of like the boobsies, actually.