Friday, May 4, 2012

Now That I'm on the 'Roids, I Can Get Out Those Wedding Stories

I'm sure y'all have been anxious to hear the rest of the wedding stories, like how I sank in what I'm pretty sure was quicksand and how we forgot to pack a snack during our wedding prep (and I think that's all we forgot to pack), which caused my really smart friend to get loopy and confuse her livestock. I know you've been patient because you figured we were honeymooning and I would post as soon as we returned from our romantical destination. That's cute, but I was back at work two days after the wedding due to STAAR testing and NJ was somewhere in Tennessee (I think) on day three. We are not honeymoon people. We barely even act like newlyweds. We're assholes, really. 

No, my absence has nothing to do with romance. It has to do with my body turning against me and dragging the shit out. For the last two weeks, I've been so tired I've barely been able to get out of bed. I thought it was because being married to NJ is exhausting (I'm still not convinced that isn't a factor in the exhaustion). Then my kidney started to hurt. Okay, it may not have been my kidney. I said it was my kidney because it was in the vicinity of where I think kidneys live. Whatever. Monday, my head started hurting, my ears filled with fluid and I could only breathe out of one nostril. Once my headache made me vomit in the middle of the night, I started freaking out and trying to think if it's the worst headache I'd ever had and, if like Brett Michaels, I was having an aneurysm. That just made my head hurt more and get really hung up on the fact he needs to cut his hair because he's an older man now. Turns out, it was just a really bad sinus infection. 

I took my stubborn ass to the doc today and got a shot in the hip. After the nausea passed (steroid shots + an empty stomach=don't wait for your prescription to be filled if you don't want to puke in the pharmacy bathroom) and I took a nappy-nap, I woke up feeling like a new woman. Like, I have energy to load the dishwasher and cook some food. I'm not, but I could if I wanted to. 

Instead, I'm going to watch Duck Dynasty because I think it holds the secret to life and work on a post telling y'all why, when Rosa says "HIDE!", I just do it without even asking because she's trained me that good. 

And, since y'all have been so good waiting, I'll leave you with this:

Cause I love it and that Katie Scarlett is one talented little lady!


epic said...

I've missed you! How goes the job hunt/interview process?

Candance said...

Girl, it's killing me. I've applied everywhere and sub in three different districts, so I'm making the needed connections. Now I need the working and the applying to actually connect so I'll have a full-time job this fall!!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I call the crap that's been going around the 'creeping crud'. A doctor I work for says it's the worst she's ever seen. Hope you're back to your badass self in no time! Love the shoes, by the way.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Oh, and watch out for the roid rage!

Allenspark Lodge said...

"We are not honeymoon people. We barely even act like newlyweds. We're assholes, really. "

How wonderful! A match made in heaven!


Rachel said...

Still cracking up over Beel's comment.

Still loving your wedding photos.

Still thinking you guys are a cute couple.

Still hoping you feel better!