I Can Now Crochet Boobs. Complete With Nipples. Because you Can't Just Tell a Man Crocheted Boobs are in Existence and Not Expect Him to Want Them. Apparently.

Sunday I was looking for a koozie pattern for NJ because he said he wanted me to make him a black one, except he calls them cooly cups and that pisses me the hell off because, hell-o, everyone knows it's a damn koozie. During my search, I came across a pattern for a koozie with boobies. And nipples. I showed it to him and I was like, "OMG, is this hi-larious or what?" and he was like, "Can I have one?" and I was like, "Uh, I guess but how in the world does one even make a nipple?" Suddenly, he was very sure of my abilities. 


So, on the Sabbath, I made boobs. With nipples. And adhered them to a koozie. There was nothing about it that didn't feel dirty. Especially when I was rubbing part of the boob asking NJ if that's where he wanted the nipple or if he wanted it a little higher and he started giggling. Because he's 14.


Yeah, here's the finished product:

Apparently she's cold. Probably due to the cold beer stuck inside her.


NJ said he was going to make her tassels and I yelled at him that he would not cheapen her by making her into a stripper. 


Cause, you know, she's soooooo classy as she is.

o

I Can Now Crochet Boobs. Complete With Nipples. Because you Can't Just Tell a Man Crocheted Boobs are in Existence and Not Expect Him to Want Them. Apparently.