I'll Eventually be Back

Look, it's another great pic my ex-hubby took!! This is a strange place for it, right? Yeah, it's not supposed to be here. It's supposed to be at the bottom with a cute little pithy line that says, "Enjoy another great picture taken by my ex while you anxiously await my return." But, Blogger hates me and won't let me move this picture, so now it's here, which means this particular post begins at the end. Funny, huh?

Okay, so I'm not making any huge promises about the exact date of my return due to the following issues:

• I am subbing these days and teachers have to be at work really early and it's usually really late when I finish my household chores. Tomorrow, I'm off to Chemistry class. They're taking a test. This is good news for everyone because me, a beaker and a Bunsen burner is just the combination that will cause some kid to spend the rest of the school year without any eyebrows. Much like when I subbed for Ag class, but it was Ag technology and the cute little boogers wanted to know if they could work on their welding projects. I asked if they enjoyed having eyelashes. They said yes. I said I did, too, which is obvious by the gobs of mascara, applied to them, so maybe we wait until the teacher returns. They did not like this answer, but I did not care because I don't want to have to wear fake eyelashes.
  
• I just moved. Again. I have to figure out a delicate way to discuss this so as not to upset anyone. I can't figure that out right now because my entire life is in boxes and I can't find my silverware which is starting to get annoying. Finding a spoon with which to eat my Captain Crunch, which just got rated like the worst kids cereal ever put on the planet earth in the history of kids cereals, is kind of a priority right now.
  
• Grace has a crapload of homework that is requiring her to use the computer because I had to keep her out of school due to sickness and then because she had a home but there was no furniture in it because we got moved by what was the equivalent of Chip N' Dale. I called Rosa (Childhood Hispanic Friend) and asked her if she could please instruct me how to say, "You are the dumbest mother f-er's I've ever seen in my entire life. Is today your first day to ever work as a mover because, judging from your total inability to efficiently put my furniture in the back of your big ass truck or to drive over 15 miles an hour ON THE INTERSTATE, it would appear that you've never done this before." She said that was kind of a lot so maybe that wasn't such a good idea and Grace said I'd probably jack it up so bad I'd say "the cheese comes out of my bellybutton" or something like that. She thought that was very funny. She wasn't laughing when I made her move the furniture around the living room five different times. I was, though.
  
• I also can't find my socks. That's troublesome. I guess it would be more troublesome if I couldn't find my underwear, but I'm good on that front. My mama washed them for me. I was going to help her out and fold all the stuff up, but when I opened the dryer, my dad's underwear were in there instead and I just couldn't make myself touch them. That is ridiculous since I am a grown-ass woman, but just thinking about it right now makes me say, "Ewww, I saw my dad's underwear" in my head. That doesn't really have anything to do with the not blogging. I was just thinking it was getting late and I should probably figure out what to wear to work tomorrow.

So, those are some of the reasons I'm AWOL. I do plan to return because I love this blog and I love all my peeps and I love reading all y'alls stuff, but I need to work on some time management and a few other things, like figuring out where the hell my forks are, before I can give this thing the stellar quality of writing you're all accustomed to.

o

I'll Eventually be Back