Apparently, Sometimes Being Irreverent is a Bad Idea
Remember yesterday when I mentioned the talking Mary doll and how someone probably got offended by it and I'd probably get in trouble? Sure as shit, someone deemed her inappropriate and I am sure, when the old boss man gets back tomorrow, I'll probably get a good talking to. Maybe also fired when I explain to him all the goings on up there I find inappropriate or tell him they really need to lighten up because it's not like I was making fun of the actual Mother of Jesus. It was a creepy doll with a creepy voice whose eyes follow you when you move. Mary, mother of Jesus, who was not in the room, was a person. Dolls are not people. They are made of plastic and sometimes cloth. See the difference?
I am irreverent. Have been for a long time. Maybe it's because my mother made me go to crazy church where the little red faced preacher that, in retrospect, looked a lot like he represented the Lollipop Guild, would scream til I thought he was going to pass out about how every. single. thing. was going to doom me to a burning hell. Gay people. Single mothers. Rock and roll music. Short skirts. Lusting after Kirk Cameron. All were a one way ticket in a handbasket. Now that Kirk Cameron loves Jesus a whole lot, I wonder if lusting him is okay? I swear he doesn't age. But I don't lust him anymore. He's too pure and I'd feel guilty hanging out with him cause I'm all not pure and then I'd feel like he was judging me and shit and I'd be like, "Why all you Christian people gotta be all judgy all the time?" and he'd be like, "Why are you talking like you're from the ghetto?" and I'd be like, "Cause that's where I live, Bitch." Then we'd break up but he'd pray for me, I think. Anyway, that kind of religious experience will give people a skewed perspective of the world.
I already admitted that maybe taking the doll to work was a bad idea, since it's faith based and all, but I really did think I was careful about who I showed it to (except the one lady that was checking it out that wasn't in the group). I guess maybe I wasn't careful enough. I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I was just trying to a) make myself laugh at the expense of others and b) lighten the mood around that miserable place. Know why it's so miserable? Cause people get offended over something stupid like a foot tall plastic talking Mary doll that is cre-epy. Well, that's not the only reason, but it's what I'm going with right now cause that's what's stuck in my craw.
Oh well, I can't undo it now. Guess it's a good thing I didn't take Talking Jesus (yep, I have him, too). Most of those people are Southern Baptist or non-denominational, which is just fundamentalist light in my book, so they don't even really buy into Mary being a big deal even though I think that's kind of wrong because she was just a kid and she carried Jesus and then birthed him. In a manger. With livestock milling about. I mean, seriously, they should give her more props. If Talking Mary offended one of them, Talking Jesus probably would've gotten me stoned to death on the spot.
Mother of God. Or I guess more accurately, Mother of Jesus.
9 Talk to Me:
And this is why I cant get enough of you girl! You are freakin' hilarious!
LMAO,you have made my day start just right...and where can i get one of these dolls, i know someone i'd like to give a heart attack to with one!!!!
The people you work with obviously have no sense of humor! Oy.
Do they make these dolls in Spanish? I'd love to get one for my mother in law.
if you had kept it to just your group without including sister bertha-better-than-you, she probably would have gotten her knickers in a twist and said you were talking about her. people just need to build a big bridge - and get over it! listen, we catholics are serious about our mary but a talking mary?...now that is just flippin' hilarious! after all, it's not like you brought in a black ghetto jesus who raps when you pull the gold chain around his neck.
I am new to this blog, but the postings (and subsequent comments) are making this a must-read for me!
It's not like you dressed little Mary up in Barbie's mini skirt and bikini top. That would be crossing the line.
Queen of Quite A Lot, that was flippin' hilarious!
Allie: Thanks!! I'm glad I made you laugh.
Sally: Glad I got your day going right. I got mine at Target, but the website for the company that makes them is www.one2believe.com. I guess you can order them there.
mommygeekology: Oddly, the only one that has a sense of humor about religion is our chaplain. Just about everyone else gets their panties in a wad.
Staci Z: Half of the writing on the box is in English and the rest is in Spanish, but I couldn't figure out if it does talk Spanish. Trust me, I tried. See my comment to Sally for the link to the company's website and check to see if they have a Spanish version there.
QOQAL: Okay, I will now and forever say sister bertha-better-than-you. LOVE THAT!! And, now I want a black ghetto Jesus that raps when you pull it's gold chain. OMG, that would be awesome!!
Second in Charge: Thanks!! My readers do kick ass!! I love them!!
Shawna: I'm thinking Barbie's clothes won't fit Mary. She's pretty broad in the shoulders. Of course, now I will have to investigate this further.
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